love beau/ make a wish

  Posted on September 30, 2014 at 9:04 pm

how apropo that I happened to burp. I had to do a few takes to not sound like I was rejecting the words as they were coming out of my mouth. I went to that place where the armor is absolute because the pain is too shameful. I allowed myself to feel rejected on principle to execute the piece. I want to capture the energy of these moments. I know that there are many poems with this energy of pre-emptive rejection of love. I want to keep going there and digging through the nuance of it. The changes in sequence, the time in my life, the state of my supposed love life at the point of creation. I am thankful for the last line of this poem. It’s a seed I didn’t understand that just added itself to the end. why such quantity in my love demands? if these wishes were all granted, would they form a wall to protect me from having my heart broken? what did I really want that I believed all of these things provided? do I have the answer now? is it the same as it was back then? I wonder what taught this kid to think this would be an improvement in his life. that this would change the way he saw himself.